exercise: screen space

Lexercise - two people communicating

script for screen space production exercise

Sarah is seated alone. She is holding something (a book, mobile or other item) that has  her attention. She seems distracted, absorbed by what she holds. 
Dan is standing [50m] off across the [park]. He notices Sarah but looks away.
Sarah looks up for a moment and notices Dan. She reacts with [loathing]. 
Sarah continues to look at Dan.
Dan becomes aware that Sarah is looking at him. He looks up at her. 
Sarah smiles at Dan. 
Dan begins to walk towards Sarah. 

Plan a series of shots (each containing only one of the two characters). Sketch the frame and think about the size. Think about how the size of the frame you choose and the space you place around the characters affects the apperception of the off-screen space. 

Sketches:

In my sequence, Sarah is not very pleased to see Dan. He is not very interested in talking to her either, but it seems that her feelings might be a bit stronger, as she cannot stop staring at him. Once Dan notices she has seen him, he acts friendly. Sarah regrets glaring at him immediately, but tries to smile while he approximates. 

Filming:

This is getting difficult as my main actor is 1,226 miles away. Therefore I have filmed this by myself. It is not easy to organise things in the screen in this manner, but I've done my best. 

When the facial expression was important I've gone for closer shots, even different camera angles. The result is below:

I have requested some feedback and the comments have been:

- the story is difficult to follow. Only if you read the script it is understandable. 

- it is hard to identify that they are in the same space. I should have found more linking elements in the landscape, or make a clearer opposition angle between them. 

An example of a good exercise is in Richad's blog. The angles of the camera and the space are clear and simple. Some very good acting here also! 

http://rjdown-dfp-log.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Project%2011%20Screen%20Space

assignment 2 - feedback and reflections

I have received the feedback from my tutor, Robert Enoch, on assignment 2. In summary:

Well done:

• confident use of lighting and composition - This is a good improvement from the feedback received in assignment 1 about the use of lighting. 
• Scene 2 - well edited transition scene. Good use of dark and lit sides of the images. 
• Good use of 'absence of diegetic noise' when needed by the story.
• Under the sheets shot - Illness really can be isolating and makes one feel overly ‘in the body’ and this shot expresses this well. Good use of your imagination here. And the fade out works well to suggest a time has passed. 
• Last scene - excellent use of light as a symbol of health

To work on:

• story rhythm - The film is again, as it happened in assignment 1, a bit slow. I must keep on working on length of shots to generate the adequate rhythm of the story. 
•  The beginning is way too slow and empty 
• narrative - The film starts somewhat strangely in an empty kitchen - away from the main story of the sick man in bed. And that disrupts your use of a ‘narrative of light’ because you needed to begin the story in the dark room and then progressively bring the light in. 
• about the scene of the tea - Is this really meaningful? - No, actually it isn't. I thought it would be interesting to have an introductory shot, but, as also Robert comments, the kitchen is too 'domestic'. He's got a point, as this breaks the hospital environment I wanted to create. 
• acting - it's nice that Robert has appreciated the acting in both assignments. This is mainly thanks to Juan, main actor. Well done Juanito! and many thanks for your help!
• mise-en-scene - I could have improved the first scene if I had given more importance to the pills, which are in the scene but don't get prominence.
• camera viewpoint in scene 3 - should have been modified when she takes the thermometer and when she leans forward, to keep the focus on the sick person. Keep your audience in the privileged position of zoning in on all the key actions unless is a deliberate reason to obscure it. 
• Increase content in your Research section - so true. I should report much more my work.  

If you want to contract time in a scene, you can use either:
a) Jump cuts: cutting only the most pertinent and telling actions together.
b) Cutaways: cut away from your scene of making tea to a shot of something related, like a clock ticking. When you cut back to the scene, you have shifted the action further along: she’s finished the tea.  

Suggested reading and viewing

Mood and atmosphere is very strong in Ridley Scott's movies. He was one of the first directors to make excessive use of light and often smoke (it makes light 'visible'). 

To work on this proposal I've watched two Ridley Scott movies (the two ones available on my online TV subscription), paying special attention to the creation of atmosphere and use of light: Thelma & Louise & A Good Year.

Use of elements to "show" light
We can see some examples below of how Riddley Scott uses the elements (dust in the air, or water, or smoke) to depict the light. The result is kind of magical and not obvious if you are not looking for its effects.
Curiously see how even when he wants to film in rain, he is using rain as a way of showing the sunlight.

Edit 29/11/15 to attach copy of my tutor's report: